Boom! Some Knowledge - War on Women

So this is the inaugural episode of our short video series, Boom! Some Knowledge. You can catch them every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube!

Boom! Some Knowledge came into existence by improv! Our buddy, Kate, used it as a warm up for a show and we fell in love with this quick way to pick up knowledge to make you look smart.

It's election time and we want you out there using your right to vote!!! Because you never know if might get taken away. Like the poor women in one state that was incredibly ahead of its' time by allowing women the vote way before Susan B. Anthony and the gang got their Suffrage movement groovin!

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www.youtube.com/patandmaryseries

Go Trib!

Pat here -

Years ago, when I first moved to Chicago, I lived in a studio apartment in a basement on the North Side. I slept on a camping-style cot that I had purchased at KMart for $20. I had one luxury: A subscription to the Chicago Tribune.

And the great thing about this subscription is that somehow, the Tribune Delivery guy was able to get access to the building in which I was living. On top of that, my apartment door was clear of the hallway floor by a good inch or so, so he could slide it right under the door and into my apartment.

Talk about delivery! If I wasn't working the morning shift at Starbucks, I didn't even have to get out of bed (get out of cot?) I could just reach over, grab the newspaper off the floor, and read it right there. That was the life.

 If only the Trib had this feature back then. Apparently, they've started a column in which readers can send in their own love stories. And it rocks. Take Susie, for instance, who met her husband when he was jousting:

He wore a blue velvet dress — well, really a kingly tunic. Who could resist?

Or Saul, who's love apparently didn't think he was a stalker:

I asked for her phone number. She refused but gave me her address.

Have a look. 

Who's your favorite? Can you top these guys?

115 years together... and now Divorce!

Now Pat and I never condone biting. But after 115 years of someone not listening I can imagine that Bibi felt she had no other recourse to get Poldi to listen. A couple should always try to work on things.

They can hold onto the good times. The long SLOW walks together. Laying out on the rocks in the sun.

Romantic meals of lettuce.

But once the relationship has turned to biting it has to end.

It's a shame those crazy turtles couldn't work it out.

This from Shine:

Sometimes, 115 years of togetherness is enough. Bibi and Poldi, two giant tortoises at the Austrian Zoo, are (slowly) going their separate ways after more than a century of companionship.

The straw that broke the turtle's back came when Bibi (the female) began biting Poldi's shell. Whether turtle or human, gnawing on your partner's back is a sign that the relationship has hit a bumpy phase. Staff members of the Austrian zoo tried a variety of methods to re-light the flame of love, including aphrodisiacs, games, and couple's counseling. Alas, nothing worked. 

Read the whole story here:

Who's on Deck?

Okay, people...
We're three episodes into our web series now:
Antony & Cleopatra (at 6min, it's fittingly epic)
Ida and Isidor Straus, and
John & Abigail Adams

Now we're prepping a brief fourth ep as we speak, and for that matter scheduling the shoots for the fifth and sixth. Should we tell you who's coming? Well... another founding father and his wife, a 12th century theolgian, and Queen Elizabeth I's parents... The question is... where do we go from there?

So we put it to you, dear readers: Who's striking your fancy? Napolean and Josephine, maybe? Cesar and Cleopatra? Charlemagne and Big Foot Bertha?

Let us know in the combox!

Way to go, Spiders!

I just noticed this - so on our little ad bar on the side of the page (you know, over to your right?) here are the ads that were just showing:

So, you know, if this history therapy thing isn't working for you. ... and, uhm, you're Scottish...

Seriously - two out of three ads here are, I hope, the exact opposite of what we're trying to do.

Although I do love a good scalable server.

John & Abigail Adams

 One of my favorite love movies to watch is Love Actually. Just the opening sequence of it makes me cry. All the people greeting each other at Heathrow with the voiceover from Hugh Grant that says:

 When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love

I realize that we only seem to make our communication count when everything is all wrong. Or we are truly saying goodbye. People often say that you are lucky if someone has passed away and you got to say all you wanted to say. 

I can tell you that I have had those opportunities to say all I wanted to but that doesn't bring peace when you continue to live life and there are new things to tell the person you miss so much.

Everyday conversation between a husband and wife is often:

Wife: Did you get milk?

Husband: I didn't know I had to.

Wife: (sighs and rolls eyes)

But think back to the long conversations you used to have when you first started dating. Long nights. With shared intimacies. I bet they don't really happen anymore. Why? Those were great days. Problem is we know each other's stories. You don't want to hear them again and again. So how do we bridge the gap between what our communication was and what it has become?

So, in this episode of Pat and Mary Save Their Marriage we look at one of the greatest communicating couples of all time, John and Abigail Adams. We know this because they left their letters behind. Letters. Wasn't it nice when we wrote letters? Since we can't go backwards, Pat and I learn a lesson about how to make our modern communication count!

Lip Dub Proposal

So one of my biggest complaints is that Pat is not into Grand Gestures.

Pat needs a lesson from Issac.

The Unsocial Network

Here's a fact to scare you:

A survey in the UK just found that more than a third of divorce filings in 2011 contained the word "Facebook".
And that's just the beginning:

And over 80% of U.S. divorce attorneys say they’ve seen a rise in the number of cases using social networking, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

And before we go further, can we comment on the fact that there's such a thing as "The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers"?

"I'd like to thank the Academy..." What do they call their annual awards dinner? The Irreconcilabillies?

Anyway...

7 Days of Sex

7 Days of Sex. When I heard of this new show on Lifetime I was shocked and appalled that they would put this on television. Is nothing sacred anymore? But to be perfectly, honest. The idea of the show stuck with me.

Since Pat and I do "History Therapy" I was intrigued by another idea of unconventional therapy. But I am a good girl so I should not watch this show.

But I did. Purely for research.

And..... I enjoyed it. 2 committed married couples try to have sex for 7 straight days to help rekindle the spark. And at the end re-new their vows. It was interesting because they didn't focus on the sex. Each couple focused on each other. It seemed that this experiment worked on other aspects of their marriage. The lack of sex they had was symbolic of a bigger problem. And being forced to connect physically they connected emotionally.

So will I tune in regularly? Probably not. But it is something to remember in our crazy lives. We, as couples need to connect. And not via text. Hug, Kiss, etc.

Missoni - Style, Olympics, Love.

Mary should probably be writing this post, because I know nothing about fashion.

I have, however, seen the name "Missoni" on a fair number of chic-looking things. And the name conjures in my mind images of fabulous people sipping espresso on Roman balconies.

I don't know if that's accurate, but if my name conjured that image in even one person, I'd be pretty jazzed.

So I can't help but be impressed to learn that chic, amazing brand actually started with a 16-year-old girl falling in love with an athlete at the 1948 Olympics.

Antony & Cleopatra - The Last Tango in Alexandria

This is where it all started for us.

Some years ago, at the Peoples Improv Theater's first "Sketchprov" festival, we got the suggestions of "Tango" along with "Antony & Cleopatra" at the same time. What unfolded was something like this extremely historically accurate scene.

Hey Will & Kate, read this!

We had a five-month engagement.

Now, I'll point out that we had been dating for... ahem... some time before we got engaged (I don't remember the exact amount of time, but each of Mary's six older brothers seemed to have it down to the hour). But the engagement itself was very brief. We got engaged over the holidays, knew we wanted a spring wedding, and didn't want to wait a year and a half, so we dove in.

Anyhow, there's a real benefit to a brief engagement - especially from a dude's point of view - in that there's not a lot of time to oscillate over decisions. Music, flowers, menu, readings - we looked around, listened for advice, chose our favorite, and moved on. Sometimes it was unnerving. And when it was, we tried to keep in mind that, in the end, what we were hoping for wasn't a great wedding, but a great marriage.

This is a really nice first-person account of Jon & Karen, a couple who celebrated their 33rd anniversary by watching the royal wedding last year.

Jon and I were quite busy on our wedding day: We had chosen to have the reception at our apartment party house (free); pick up the food and beverages at a Big Bear store ($315 for the food, $53 for soft drinks); and get three kegs of beer from a friend who worked as a deliveryman for a distributor ($110).The beer plan hit a snag when the friend used his only call from jail to let us know he couldn’t make the wedding but that the kegs would arrive as promised.

How ya fixed for spit and dry socks?

My father was a soldier, and one of his favorite sayings was "How're ya fixed for spit and dry socks?"

I'm still trying to figure out precisely what it meant, but it seemed to be what he always said when we really had no option but to grin and bear it. And it definitely came from combat.

I think it meant something like:
You're out of food. You're out of ammo. You're cold. Someone's shooting at you. But hey, you've got some fresh socks to put on, so really, things could be worse.

Socks become very important to a guy who's mucking through the mud for weeks at a time.

And they were extremely important to Ken Sweet, an Australian soldier in World War II.

Why? Because these were special socks. They started a 65 year marriage.

Every marriage should come with a Hex Key

There are a lot of guides on how to make your marriage better. Most of them are pretty difficult to understand. Apparently, one has only rudimentary drawings with a bunch of arrows.

A Julie Rodgers and William Pitts knew each other in Grade School. They reconnected after 30 years at an IKEA store.

"As we're leaving, we get yogurt cones and we're on the way to the parking lot when it hits me," Rodgers remembers. "I turned to him and said, 'This is one of the best dates I've ever had,' to which he said, 'This is a date?'"

So naturally, it's where they decided the wedding should be.

I'm just curious where they registered.

9 Secrets of Happy Couples

9 secrets? That is all we need to be happy. Awesome!!! I can do 9 things. I am a true Multitasker.

Oh wait, all the time. Oh boy, this marriage thing is work.

But seriously, I thought this list was pretty good. And we do ok if we go task by task:

1. They use terms of endearment (Pat will kill me if I tell you. But we do have pet names)

2. They do stuff together (We are sitting on the couch right now, TOGETHER!)

3. When the going gets tough, they don't call Mom or Dad (Can't do that. My Mom might tell me I'm the one who is wrong)

4. They stay connected to their parents (I talk to my Mom about 4 times a day. But not weird, right?)

5. They don't nickel-and-dime about chores (We  Sacagawea  about chores)

6. They fight constructively (We always put together Ikea furniture while we argue)

7. They give each other gifts (Pat once gave me beer scented shampoo for Valentine's Day. Yep. Beer scented.) 

8. They never lose their sense of humor (We have a hook by the door where we always hang it religiously)

9. They take "for better or for worse" seriously (We love that cartoon!)

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/9-secrets-happy-couples-160700887.html;_ylc=X3oDMTNtYzNobm1wBF9TAzk2NzE0MzAzOARhY3QDbWFpbF9jYgRjdANhBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi1VUwRwa2cDMjdjNzFjNzEtYzdhMy0zOGE4LWExNmYtNjMwNDFmYzVhMGJkBHNlYwNtaXRfc2hhcmUEc2xrA21haWwEdGVzdAM-;_ylv=3

The Pain Now...

So Mary posted such a painful, endearing story yesterday - which of course is a reminder that love is certainly something deeper and more complex than the kiss that wakes the princess. It's much more like Nicholas Cage says in Moonstruck , "Love don't make things nice - it ruins everything." It does.

It also reminds me of one of my favorite films- which was based on a similar story. The film is Shadowlands and the story is that of CS Lewis and Joy Davidman.

If you're not familiar with the tale - when he was in his fifties, CS Lewis began a correspondence with an American Author named Joy Davidman. They were correspondents, then friends, then they got married.

At the hospital, as she was being treated for cancer.

What I love about the film is the change in Lewis's character - what love does to him. Of course, Lewis was a well-known theologian, and at the beginning of the film, he thinks he knows why we feel pain. He learns, of course, that he had never really felt pain. Not yet.
I found this clip of scenes:

True Love Beats Cancer

Continuing with the idea of true love stories....

If you have ever witnessed someone battling Cancer you know how crystal clear their wants become as their disease becomes more serious. This lovely girl, Katie got her dream. Marrying the man of her dreams just 5 days before losing her battle with cancer.

God Bless them. May she now rest in peace.

Check out this touching video

 Mary

Ida and Isidor

100 years ago the Titanic sunk. Absolute devastation. All the lives lost. Stories untold. The saddest part is that for generations to come people will think of Kate and Leo. I loved the movie. The first half anyway.

Some years ago one of my brothers bought my mother a Christmas present of tickets to “Titanic the Musical”. They always buy her 2 tickets and it's always understood that I will go with her. I was not excited for this one. Thought it was a knock off of the movie.

Well, I love to be wrong. I loved it! I mean, truly loved it. The musical focused on what was important, the lives and dreams of the passengers, no matter what class passenger. The story that knocked me back was Ida and Isidor Strauss. Ironically, it was the only true love story in the musical. They were well known since he was an owner of Macy's. In the video you will hear their story but what struck me in the musical was the song they sang entitled, “Still” towards the end of the show. The sentiment of the song was simple. “I loved you then and I love you Still”.

The way you move meStillFeels as it didWhen you first became mineWhispered the words"I will"...I loved you thenAnd I love youStill

In the hustle and bustle of jobs, kids, grocery shopping etc.... how often do we turn to our spouse and say, “I still love you.” My guess is not often enough. So next time you remind your significant other to change the light bulb in the hall already. Finish it with I STILL love you. Even though the light has been out for 2 weeks.

See what other lessons we learned from this beautiful story of love and how we applied those lessons to our modern day marriage.

Enjoy the video!!!

And if you are interested check out these links:

Divorce is not an option

It appears to be the kiss of death to come out publicly with the statement “Divorce is not an option”

I tell Pat all the time that “When we get a divorce I will …..” So I guess we are safe.

A favorite line in a movie is also often quoted in our house, “ I have been saving this money for a DI vorce if ever I find me a husband”.

It is a wonderful life indeed when you are happily married.

http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/2012/03/jennie-garth-and-peter-facinelli-split-so-much-for-divorce-is-not-an-option.html

A Real Relationship Expert

I just want to link to this story about Jennifer Lopez dating (marrying?) someone.

And I want to link to it because the author interviews a “Relationship Expert” - Rachel A Sussman.

And what are Ms. Sussman's credentials for being a “Relationship Expert”?

She's the author of a book called “The Breakup Bible”.

http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-03-15/expert-on-jennifer-lopez-casper-smart-im-smelling-trouble/

Now that's expertise in relationships.  

Major/Minor

People love the expression “All I ever needed to learn I learned in Kindergarten”. Frankly, I can't remember a darn thing I learned in Kindergarten. But all I ever needed to learn about marriage I learned from watching my parents my whole life. They were married young (young by our standards today –21 and 25). They had a bunch of kids and they worked hard. It was the American Dream. I would say that it worked well. I don't have any strong recollections of my parents fighting or yelling. So it made me wonder how did they do that?

At a family wedding the DJ decided to play the game where all the married couples get on the dance floor. He plays a song then asks all the couples who have been married 5 years or less to sit. Followed by 10 years etc. Until you boil it down to the couple who had been married the longest left. At this wedding it was my parents, 45 years. So the DJ asked my folks to give the newlyweds some advice on what makes marriage work.

Without hesitation my mother grabbed the microphone and said, “We decided early on that I would make all the Minor decisions and he would make all the Major ones”.

The DJ quickly retrieved the microphone because he didn't like the subservient nature of the comment. Except my little mother, who can move like the wind when she wants, grabbed the microphone back and finished her line, “And so far nothing Major has come up.”

Laughter all around. And you see that is when I realized one of my parents secrets to a good long lasting marriage. Laughter. My Mom thought my Dad was funny (he was) and he thought she was.

So I don't know if they yelled at each other in private where we kids couldn't hear but I do know they laughed together and so did we.

A Pat and Mary we'll look up to

This is not us.

It's another Pat and Mary. A previous Pat and Mary. A great Pat and Mary

A couple in their eighties who had been married for 58 years were found dead in their hot tub.Pat Marino, 85, and Mary Marino, 80, were discovered by a neighbour in their winter home after their family became worried that they had not heard from them.

The article goes on to interview one of their sons-in-law, who has this to say:

'There were no better parents to their three daughters, there were no better grandparents to the five grandchildren that they had, and there were no better in-laws to their three sons-in-law.'

And that's from a son-in-law.

So here's a couple that stayed together for 58 years, had three children, five grandkids, and went out together... in a hot tub. That's a Pat and Mary.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049798/Elderly-couple-married-60-years-dead-hot-tub.html#ixzz1pxoroDrR